Jack is turning 3 in just a few months. I was gently reminded of this today, as we attended his “Toddler Transition Meeting.” This meeting includes collaborating with support services through the local IU (Intermediate Unit), as they will take over Jack’s therapies and services when he turns 3 (if he qualifies). His current services are provided by therapists through our county’s Early Intervention program and we couldn’t be happier with the support Jack (and I) have received. Consequently, I have been in denial about the emotional impact of this change, for both Jack and myself. These ladies have been in his life for almost 3 years and saying goodbye just seems wrong! I know they want good things for Jack, just as we do.
In the documents we were sent to prepare for this meeting, we were informed about the Preschool Education Program and the role of the IU Service Coordinator, among other things. And we were also asked this question:
What are the family’s hopes and dreams for the child?
And I instantly began to cry. Something about this question gets to heart of my anxieties about the impact Jack’s early arrival may have on his future. I actually try very hard to think more in the short-term and day-to-day, when it comes to Jack, because the moment I start thinking about the future, anxiety overtakes my mind…and my heart. With our interrupted pregnancy and Jack’s unexpected early arrival, one thing I learned was to not rely too much on expectations or plans. So when I get asked a question like this, I am keenly, and sometimes too painfully, aware of the dangers of having such plans or expectations in life. It’s not that I don’t have hopes and dreams for Jack. Oh, do I have hopes and dreams for this amazing little boy. But to articulate them may be allowing opportunity for them to be picked up, thrown to the ground, and stomped on. So I have them, hopes and dreams, but they are hidden and unspoken, for now. Just think, being along on the journey as Jack discovers his own hopes and dreams will be that much more extraordinary.
But I will reveal this: I hope that he goes into each day like this…
|Smiling, face toward the sun.|
And I dream that he ends each day like this…