Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

Saturday, August 10, 2013

For Good

There are so many things I could say about Jack turning 3.  I mean, this boy amazes me every moment of every day.  That allows for a lot of bragging about my little dude.   He makes me smile and cry, laugh and sing.  And he always.always makes me feel extremely blessed to be his momma.  I’m not really sure what I ever did to deserve such an awesome kid, but I’m glad I did it.  I feel this way about Jack every day.  Not just on his birthday.   His last two birthdays caused a mix of emotions as we remember his early arrival and rough days that followed.  While we will never forgot those days that made us the family we are today, this 3rd birthday definitely seems to consist of more LIVING than reliving.  That's a good thing.  But, if I think about what I've done for Jack the past three years:  I spent hours upon hours in the hospital.  Left my job and career.  Changed many, many stinky diapers.  Played trucks every day.  Fought with insurance companies.  I became nurse, doctor and therapist.  But none of that compares to what he has done for me.  He has changed me…
for good

For Good
(from Wicked)

Birth Day 8.10.10
I'm limited.
Just look at me.
I'm limited.
And just look at you.
You can do all I couldn't do.

So now it's up to you,
For both of us.
Now it's up to you.
First Birthday 8.10.11
I've heard it said,
That people come into our lives
For a reason
Bringing something we must learn.
And we are lead to those
Who help us most to grow if we let them.
And we help them in return.
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I know you.

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun,
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better
But because I know you.
I have been changed for good.
Second Birthday 8.10.12
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you.
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart.
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you'll have rewritten mine
By being my [son.]

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea.
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird
In a distant wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better
But because I know you...
Because I know you...

Third Birthday 8.10.13

I have been changed for good.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Jack Ryan!

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

A title eludes me...just read!

Parents of premature babies fight for a lot of get their child the services they make others aware of this journey...I could go on.  But none of us...I repeat NONE OF US should have to prove that our child is worth saving, worth living, worth fighting for.  But, if you read this article and many of the self-righteous, judgemental comments:

you'll understand why parents of premature babies do so much to advocate for their children.  Why they fight, and why, at times, they may seem a little sensitive to certain comments.  It blows my mind that so many who have not experienced prematurity seem to think that they know the right thing to do and feel as though they can judge despite their lack of experience and knowledge.  And it blows my mind even more, if that's even possible, that anyone believes that they have the right to determine whether a child, someone else's child, has worth.  I guess I should feel "lucky" that Jack was born just past the 28 week mark, because otherwise, in the opinion of too, too many in our society, he may not have been worth saving.  I literally could vomit just thinking about the possibility that I would ever have to prove to someone that Jack is worth it.  Don't get me wrong, I absolutely believe that parents (and society) should be as informed as possible about prematurity.  (Obviously, that's why I do so so much advocating and educating.)  But, here's the thing...premature birth is often an unexpected, sudden, fast-action event where information and knowledge (although it may be given) is often overshadowed by the emotions and fears of parents.  Parents whose expectations have been thrown out the window and shattered on the ground below.  We were informed, but we were also overwhelmed.  Hearing the statistics and outcomes is a lot different than living them.  Even so, Jack was "worth" it then.  Jack is "worth" it now.  And the only perception or judgement of that worth that is valid is mine...his father's...and his own. 

Pretty sure he is certain of his worth.